while i can’t take the class until after my surgery, it’s something i’m going to do.
my mind is still trying to process yesterday. i had a hard time going to bed until i admitted to the dr., “I saw too many horrible things today.”
i couldn’t stop myself from watching all the videos and looking through all the horrific slide shows of gruesome bloody photos. i don’t know why i couldn’t just stop myself. i kept hitting refresh. i kept letting it consume me. i kept my mouth shut though as i didn’t really want to talk about it.
i couldn’t really talk about it.
i didn’t know how to. in all my online conversations and text messages the most i could come up with was.
the thing that i could not let go was the idea that someone had decided to head to the marathon to celebrate the fact that human beings do crazy shit like run 26.2 miles just because they can and then…
‘l saw someone lose their leg’
‘i saw dismemberment’
and then they’re met with this.
whether they were running the race and were moments away from fulfilling a dream, whether they were cheering from the sidelines looking for their loved ones, or yelling out encouragement and love to strangers for the sheer joy of it…
they’re met with this kind of horror.
Steve Silva, the sports producer from Boston.com was filming at the finish line and his comments were the first ones i saw posted online as well as his video.
His were the first words i read that made my insides crumble.
My connection to Boston and the lazy summer days i spent laying around in Copely Square brought this close to home for me but my new found running routine (with the ultimate goal of running a marathon) made me feel a whole new level of shock and sorrow.
Being so far away I feel so helpless and useless. If you know me, you know that I have severe issues with feeling useless.
So the only logical thing for me would be to learn something useful and while i never want to be in a situation that would ever call for me to use this knowledge I will be damned if disaster struck around me and all I could do was stand there and not do anything. the class would be a small step towards being a certified emergency medical responder.
Locals: Sports Basement also offers free CPR training classes in the city though I don’t think they offer official certification: http://community.sportsbasement.com/free-classes/cpr/
The Red Cross also offers classes in Emergency Preparedness and Emergency Medical Response.
it’s something i want to do for myself. i’m a doer and i have a hard time not doing anything.
in the meantime, i’m taking a break from the media coverage. while i want to know the whys and hows and whos as much as everyone else does i’m not a fan of speculation and finger pointing and the mess that comes with it.