the year started out quiet and easy. life was good. i thrive the most during quiet times. i did a lot of yoga and spent time with the dr. and not much else.
we had a portland reunion. it was pretty successful. i miss having everyone i know in one place.
we started going on weekly hikes. we got lost a lot. and i got dirty. a lot.
we mostly rewarded ourselves with food.
i bought the dr. a plane for his birthday.
i made an appointment. i had my boobs removed.
recovery wasn’t as awful as anticipated. 4.4 lbs of boob removed and i started going down stairs differently and stood taller. running and yoga were completely new experiences.
that’s a lot of boob when you look at it.
sadia introduced me to soulcycle. i cried during my first class. i couldn’t honestly tell you if it was because i was so out of shape the class broke my body or because something inside my brain snapped and all this stuff came spilling out. stress and bad memories and lots of ugly awful guilt. feeling all the feels is not pretty. it’s made especially worse in Marin, the land of fit blondes with disposable income(with whom we were basically surrounded by). thank god they keep the room dark.
we kept hiking. we’d soulcycle and hike and this was better and cheaper than therapy.
we even discovered ferngully
a lot of this year i felt like this.
but this always helped
and spending time here
we went here for my birthday
and the dr. asked me to marry him
this was the year i came to love the woods
oh, and i said yes
i went to wisconsin to eat at culvers and see this little guy
work started to get sorta crazy too
so there was a lot of this
but we got to go away for an offsite retreat!
i need to find a wedding dress. so there was some of this
i went to seattle to see some of my favorite people get married
and discovered the wonder that is Port Townsend
and started to re-evaluate my priorities
sadia and jason threw us an engagement party at flora grubb
soulcycle opened in the city
i added it into my workout routine. i even ran uphill from my house to class one day. this is not recommended.
we flew home for the holidays
so i could spend as much time as possible oogling these guys
and hang out with these guys
and share this guy with the entire family where i usually just get him all to myself
and eat more than my fair share of east coast junk food i can’t get in SF (not pictured: tastykakes & soft pretzels)
somewhere along the way this year i lost 30 lbs without killing myself
and even though i’m currently laid up in bed with some sort of evil flu
i’m pretty happy with how 2013 turned out.
i did not stab anyone repeatedly with a fork as i’ve often daydreamed about because it’s not worth the effort to hate.
even the times i’ve turned that hate around on myself, I gave up and let it go.
even though it’s a struggle, even though there are a hundred justifiable reasons to hold onto it, i’ve realized the best thing to do is to let go of what no longer serves you. there are lots of other things out there that deserve your time and effort. like baby nephews and baking cookies and reading books and getting lost in the woods with your friends.
i can’t predict what will happen next year.
but if you need me i’m going to kill this head cold and step outside to enjoy this last bit of 2013.
i hope you have a wonderful evening. stay warm. do dumb things. don’t get caught. sleep in and eat lots of pancakes tomorrow.
i know i will.