522514_10151231368423472_201254478_n-1i’ve been feeling pretty cute these days. i really can’t lie.

i know i’ve been MIA in regards to this blog but after the madness of SFO-NYC-SFO-AUS-SFO followed by spanksgiving i’ve been thinking a lot but not writing a lot. now that the bikram challenge is over it’s up to me how i want to schedule workouts and it’s a struggle. the kapha-pitta in me likes have a structured routine and the challenge gave me exact instructions on what to do: come to class everyday. now that i don’t have that, even though i know in my heart of hearts how to structure my workout week, if i don’t have someone or something to answer to or the fear of failing a task i fall apart.

the 8 hour ayurveda workshop i took at school yesterday confirmed my kapha-pitta dominance. kapha’s are described as mountains. thick, stable, unmovable kapha. kapha’s are slow moving, calm and easy going. pitta’s are analytical, purposeful and results oriented. pitta’s are focused and direct. a lot of the time i feel the kapha and pitta in me fight. they are opposites in many ways. the pitta in me wants me to go, go, go, do more, be more, know more. the kapha in me is content to spend all day at home doing nothing. kpaha’s don’t have much internal motivation and need external forces to make them do something. i guess i’m lucky i have a pitta in me to provide that kind of motivation but it’s often a struggle. i need to trick myself into doing things that are good for me that i don’t want to do. i need to use scare tactics to get my ass to the gym.

ayurveda sees that 80% of disease is based on too much pitta. we live in a pitta world where the more you do, the more you have, the more drive and determination to be the best – the better. we celebrate those who push themselves to be the best. i guess the problem is what if your best is not the best of someone else? what if people value your best less because it’s not as good as others? and what if you keep pushing yourself?

pitta’s are such stressballs. we’re incredibly hard on ourselves. therapy helped me realize i needed to put pitta in the backseat for awhile and let my kapha nature take over for a bit so i could actually enjoy my life. after a couple of months i felt better but then the pitta seemed to come back this summer. realizing summer is a pitta season this makes sense. i feel things actually slowing down though. while my schedule is jam packed with stuff i’m pretty content. it’s the season. i feel like i’ve been in seclusion for a couple of months. the yoga challenge took up all of october followed by travel-tastic november i feel like i haven’t seen my friends in months. i feel good about going out to see jessica this morning and then meeting up with maria, heather and jeff at the MOMA. dinner with jason tuesday, the private screening of the hobbit, my company party, getting my incredibly slow stubborn kapha self moving.


going home.

i’m really really happy to be going home in 2 weeks.


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December 2012
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