lucas miles

so my studio is having a workshop this saturday (12-4) and i didn’t think too much about it.  i entertained the idea of going but after realizing it was my last weekend to do my double i wrote it off a something i couldn’t do.  the overacheiver part of my brain told me i could do a double THEN the workshop since i was told the workshop wouldn’t be all the way heated like normal class but i’ve gotten really good this year with patting my overacheiver on the back and then telling it to calm down.  then david told me after my double this past weekend that the workshop would count as one class for the challenge.  which made me think about it again.

my brain likes to go back and forth with things which can drive me crazy.

i decided to do some internet research on lucas miles, the senior teacher holding the workshop and found his blog which was well written, interesting and honest.  i love finding blogs that make me fall in love with personal non-fiction .  i went through past entries and read and read and then found this piece of writing by mr. miles:

“please be willing to be someone you never imagined.

when you become that person, even if it took all of your blood and sweat and
tears and vomit, be ready to let go of it and become someone else.

understand that if you become something, it was always there anyways.

if you realize something, it is the same.

facts are all around you. truth is all inside of you. it is what you are made of. you just have to admit it.

you see in the world what you be in the world.

excuses keep us from doing things. inspiration gives us permission to do them anyways. 

please embrace that which challenges you the most, as it is also what offers you the most. 

it takes serious work to have fun sometimes.”

this really hit home as it’s been what has been floating in my brain this entire month as i step into the hotbox day after day and as i moan and groan and drag my feet like a little kid when it’s time for tuladandasana and get agrivated when the teacher makes us hold it for what seems a lot longer than 10 seconds (i’m starting to feel that 10 seconds is a lie) i do it anyways. and i keep doing it. and i keep coming back. despite soreness. despite fatigue. and i keep asking myself why i’m doing this and i don’t quite know but it’s sorta ok that i don’t know because despite all the work it’s worth it.

understand that if you become something, it was always there anyways.

i’m tapping into this well of strength and determination and i’m always surprised that i have it.

i seriously don’t give myself enough credit.

i signed up for the workshop.

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