30 day bikram challenge, day 4 recap: it’s not a race.

something I realized in last night’s class that it was a class.

a class not the gym.

somewhere I go to learn something.

I think the light bulb went off during standing forehead to knee.  i always have struggled in this pose and my low back hated it.  then jay demoed it and explained how you don’t have to bend so far down to pick up your foot but you bring your foot up to you.

duh.

i still can’t quite get my foot but at least now i’m not hurting myself.

oooh, look, this is how learning happens!

I feel like the past couple of days I’ve been showing up to the studio and going through the motions, doing what i’m told, not really connecting to any of it, just trying to live through the heat which has been my enemy ever since this started.  i had grown so complacent with my pleasantly warm morning classes twice a week and had not really worked in a really hot room filled to capacity.

when it hit me that this is class in every sense of the word and not just a mindless stint on the eliptical machine I realized how much more I stand to gain from really investing myself. I may never reach my foot in standing forehead to knee but if I’ll never know if I don’t keep trying in earnest.

some other things i’m learning:

–  what I eat before class, even 6 hours before class, matters.  a lot.  I know there are some people out there who can eat complete junk and still make it through a class.  I’m not one of those people.  if I’m going to class at 6:30PM I need to stop eating at 3PM and I need to remember that onions, peppers and beans are not my friend.  so no Chipotle burrito bowl before class ever again.

– I need to stop thinking about how hot it is.  I don’t know why I show up surprised at how hot it is.  i know this already.  my brain just won’t shut up about it.  was it this hot yesterday? do these other people here actually know how hot this is?  why is it this hot? i’m not going to make it through class.   it’s ridiculous because i’ve always made it through class alive.

-when I get frustrated in a pose and make up my mind that I can’t do it I’m only validating the thought when I stop working.  remember to keep trying again.  stop giving up on myself.

-in the same vein, if I need to sit out a pose, it’s ok to sit out a pose. it’s not a race.  there is no gold medal for doing all the poses and doing them perfect.  no such thing as perfect. the only thing I need to do is breathe.  that should be easy enough, right?  you’d be surprised how often I forget to in class.

day 4: Jay 6:30 PM

lesson: stop giving up on myself. 

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