30 day bikram challenge, day 3: slow and steady

It significantly cooled down yesterday so I was relieved somehow thinking this would make class a breeze last night but when I walked into the room I was met with hot invisible wet blanket thatI have come to know and am still trying to love.

The room is still hot even if the city is not.

I changed my spot, plopped down in the front corner of the room so I could have both front and side views of my form.  I’ve heard people comment on hating the mirrors.  So many people don’t want to look at themselves in class. I guess I understand that some people don’t want to watch themselves sweat and struggle.  I’ve never had this issue and always prefer a spot in the front row if I can or in front of one of the mirrored columns my studio has in the back.  I want to see myself.  If i can’t see myself, I can’t see my form, I can’t make the right adjustments and I can’t look myself in the face after a really exhausting standing series and tell myself.

“You’re a crazy and beautiful turd.  Enjoy your 2 minute savasana.” 

I’ve never been to one of Jay’s classes before.  I’m not sure if he’s a new teacher or not but I really enjoyed the pace of his class.  He spoke so much slower than most teachers.  He didn’t repeat the dialog as often as some who rant at you, “more back, way back, go back, fall back.”  He said the words but he spaced it out, he slowed it down.  It was amazing how much more calm i felt with the teacher speaking like a normal person.  There is something to be said about the kind of energy that excitable teachers have when they stand on the box and sound like the guy on the auction block. Energy can be infections and motivating.

What I’m finding is that slowing it down can make it easier to get through.

One thing I’ve always liked about Bikram over Vinyasa is that it moves so much slower.  Sometimes I find myself playing catch up in Vinyasa.  I know in my brain that yoga is about moving with your own breath but after a lifetime of doing what teachers tell you to do when they do it, you want to keep up even if it’s at the expense of your own breath.  That’s the heart of what I need to work on in Vinyasa.  Not perfect my jump back to plank or to control my chaturanga but to listen to my body, to follow my breath even if it doesn’t match that of everyone else.

Starting this challenge after only really doing bikram 1-2x a week, 8AM weekend classes, my work has been dealing with the heat. the first class of the day is usually not as hot as the 6:30PM afer the heater has been running all day and hundreds of sweaty bodies have been in and out of the studio.  I’ve managed not to bail during these hot days but there have been moments where I see someone get up to leave the room and have whispered silently, “take me with you.” 

I’ve noticed that there is this domino effect that can take place in class.  you see one person leave and then all of a sudden two other people get up and leave.  You see one person sit out a pose and it somehow makes other people comfortable enough to sit out the pose too.  It’s like we give ourselves permission to sit down as long as we’re not the first person to do it.

I’ve been thinking about this and wanting to work on this as well.  I have been finding myself sitting down out of sheer laziness because the person next to me did as well.  And I keep telling myself I’ve got 27 more days to get it right, I’ll be fine.

Sure i’ve got 27 more days but I also don’t want to half ass the experience.

It’s not realistic to think that you’ll walk into the studio everyday with enthusiasm.  There are days you’re going to loathe it.  There will be days you outright hate it.  But you do it.  And because you’re already there, you might as well try and put forth effort because no one else is going to do it for you.

day 3: Jay 6:30 PM

mantra: only sit down if you think you’re going to puke.

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