keto

i’ve been all over the map lately with how i physically feel after cutting out significant carbs and no sugar. the headaches and the crankiness was expected but seemed to settle down on day 3 and now i’m all over the place with absolute lethargy to high energy.  so strange.  i keep moving between the two and i can’t really find any defining factor.  mornings are slow going.  i’m always thirsty and drinking water and i’m always peeing which i guess is a good sign.  i’m not craving really.  i think about a sandwich and i don’t get as excited as i feel like i usually would.  i think about cupcakes or brownies and the same thing…meh.  it doesn’t make me crave.  i’m not struggling with the diet to have a brownie.  

i’m struggling with the diet to have…oatmeal.  to have brown rice.  to have juice. 

i really want orange juice.

what the what?

we wandered over to big lantern with maria and chris last night for dinner and i found myself craving a meatless chicken dish with broccoli.  i knew in my heart of hearts that i should get a veggie and tofu and be done with it but the idea of it made me sad.  food has become boring.  same thing, same thing.  i feel like without food preoccupying my brain i need to find something else to get excited about.

that’s the hard part. i’ve spent my entire life thinking about food 90% of the time.  when food becomes merely fuel for the body, WHAT DO I TAKE JOY IN NOW?!

i need to remember not to go too far in the other direction.  Food, regardless of carb count, can still bring me joy but these 2 weeks it’s almost like i need to remove myself from it to enjoy it again.  With my birthday week’s eating bonanza i felt like i needed to take a step back from it all. 

at dinner i went for the meatless chicken dish and was thoroughly satisfied with my choice.  i really enjoyed my meal.  i stopped eating when i was full.  then i took 2-3 more bites.  just because i could.  and i went to bed feeling ok about my decision to not obsessively carb count what was in my dish.

i warned the dr. that this diet can make me crazy.  i’m really conscious about the carb count of whatever i’m putting in my mouth.  i’m concerned about getting kicked out of ketosis.  it drives me insane.

sunday i realized i needed to remember why i’m doing this. i want to feel better.  i want better lung capacity.  i want to be able to get my forehead to my knee in standing head to knee in bikram.  i want my body to be at it’s best and healthiest if i decide to have a baby.  i want this because this is the only body i will get in this lifetime and i need to take care of it or it’ll rebel on me when i get older.

i struggle because i know people go on keto diets because it’s a quick fix to burn fat.  i need to remember i’m not eating bacon and steaks to do it.  i’m consuming lean proteins and leafy greens.  my heart will remain in tact at the end of this week.

next week i add back in beans, berries and possibly brown rice.  we’ll see how i feel.

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