all nighter

tonight won’t be an all nighter.  i just need to type up my paper (yes i basically hand wrote it, yes i know we live in a world where you do not have to hand write anything anymore and yes i wrote it out because i love looking at my handwriting), finish making my shoulder joint and practice my presentation.

it’ll be a late night but i doubt it will take me forever to do.

which makes me a bit sad because i remember all nighters well and i miss them.

sorta.

no, i do miss them.

there was something exciting about pushing through the different stages of delirium you go through to get things done.  i thrived off of it in college.  this is why i, a highly responsible and organized person, waited to the last minute to do some things.

because it was more fun.

because i am crazy. 

i won’t lie, even though i broke out into stress hives when i pledged zeta in college (it’s a co-ed fraternity people and i did it because it was uncool to be a greek in my uber artistic college, don’t judge me), i sorta loved it.  working full time, going to school full time and pledging full time was like being being in the amazing race without all that traveling.  it basically felt like you needed to go go go until certain renal failure.   it was adrenaline and delirium and pure sugar rush.  it was excitement and action.

it was… awful on my body.

i have a feeling that i used to live off of this kind of crap because it made me feel alive.

the lame equivalent of why people ride rollercoasters or go sky diving or eat shellfish in landlocked states.

what i remember hating about all nighters is that you’re still expected to function the next day.  i remember the sun coming up and after the initial WOO HOO I’M ALMOST DONE BITCHES the descent would begin.  my skin would start to feel unreal.  the nausea would come in waves as i had consumed enough coffee to eat the lining of not only my stomach but my entire intestinal tract.  motor skills became a thing of the past.  it would take an hour to dress myself.

recovery was not fun.

it’s funny how i still look back on this with longing though.

someone needs to beat me with day old baguettes because i’m disappointed that i’m no longer insane.

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