where i’m at

the conclusion i came to at the end of a very very long day yesterday:

“I want to be able to help people in a profound way, in a way that lasts well past the time I spend with them and improves their quality of life. No one is ever going to remember in a month’s time that I got them their furniture on time. Sometimes I’ll get a thank you.  Sometimes.”

I left work in a rush to get to class.  I had spent more time than anticipated on something that had me riled up, upset, defeated and anxious.

There was a lot of wiping the eyes with the back of the hand thing on the way to BART.

If there is one thing I am good at it is doing things quietly.  I can have a complete and utter meltdown in the office I share with a woman whose desk faces me and she would never know.  I fell and twisted my ankle and people no more than 10-15  feet away  knew until 10 minutes afterwards when I announced it because it looked like I had done more damage than I had originally thought. I can expel an enormous amount of emotion and not make a single sound.  If I was an X-man that would be my superpower.   The ability to really really feeeeel something…silently.   (I am lame.)

Once I changed and sat down in class I looked around and noticed I wasn’t the only one having a really hard day.  We all looked sort of beat down.  It was reassuring to know I wasn’t the only one.

After lecture and after demo we partnered up and once we started working, I felt something switch.  B. was needing some work.  we learned some PNF stretches and when I found them working, all I could do was assist, find the right body positions on the table and help facilitate release.  I forgot about work.  I forgot about the emotionally charged communications I had that day.  I felt like I was  in the zone.

At the end of the session B. thanked me and when I walked home that night I felt 100 times better about…

about everything.

learning to help people move their bodies through the rigors of everyday  life  more effectively is satisfying.   Bringing them ease feels like a real tangible thing that I can hold on to that makes me feel like what I do has real meaning.

I can’t get worked up over someone who won’t remember anything about me after their business opens.  I need to remember this.  There are worst things to get upset over.


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August 2011
« Jul   Sep »


  • RT @skstock: We need to stop glamorizing working at 150%. That extra 50% is a loan from your future self. Eventually you’ll need to collect… 3 days ago



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