i used to be cute

i used to be but these days it’s all roll out of bed and dress in the dark.  i had started laying out clothes the night before some time ago to prevent leaving the house in clown attire but these days it’s the same blackness.  the same black bottom and the same neutral top.  business casual is gross.  i’m always pushing the limits to see what i can get away with.  i  slept in these pants last night.  they’re clean.  i can wear them to  work.  who has time to take off perfectly clean pants?

i went through a closet purge a couple of months ago and while i got rid of many things i no longer wear i have recently realized i am holding onto a ton of things with holes and stains that i still do wear.

i own an unusually large collection of black comfy pants, many of which are past their expiration date.  there are crotch holes and pilling and lint.  there are pulled strings, dying elastic waistbands and some aren’t even really black anymore.

and yet i cannot part ways with any of them and i still insist that i can wear these out in public on a daily basis.

i don’t know how anyone takes me seriously.  i’m in questionable attire 95% of the time.

i dressed better when i was unemployed.  skirts, tights, pretty things.  dresses.


i miss dresses.

in other news, in talking to eric last night i voiced what i have been doing this month which gave it life and made me realize that the only reason i’ve not fallen into a vat of despair and ice cream is because i’m acting like april is years and years away and not like in 9 fucking days.

shit.  april holds changes and umm, taxes.  death and taxes.

there is a beer called death and taxes.

i’m going to drink it until i no longer care about wearing holey pants to work or what is going to happen next month.


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March 2011
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