5 minutes from now

i feel better today. i barely had a voice until 12:49PM and something broke on through to the other side, as mundane as these life details are i continue to share these things because the interent is vast and this is just a drop in the ocean. it keeps me in check. project WRITE EVERY GODDAMN DAY has been really hard to do lately. i get 2-3 lines in and i put my journal down in search of something more interesting to do. discipline is not my strong suit. this is why i never seem to get things done. well, i get some things done, just things that people depend on me to do. on one depends on me to pick up a pen and tell the world how i feel so it’s a struggle. everyday has been the same.

8/23 i hear mucous is good for you. it sort of tastes like boogers though. i’m sure the two are related. anyways. yeah. right.

8/24 i sort of like being mute. i can stare at my phone and not have to answer it. in other news, it’s supposed to be a hotpocolypse outside today. i hope i can tell the difference between being hot and having a fever. i really wished the hotpocolyps meant the end of the world by means of hot pockets of the frozen scary treat kind. in other news, the Y charged me 2x this month because i changed my billing cycle. i have the same bank account balance i did back in 1999 when i made $8 an hour at the HOB. maybe i will lose weight.

my journal, at its best, is a catalog of bad behavior and stupid thought. i often go through it and read old entries and feel sorry for the me of yesteryear. then i feel good about the me of today. and then i get hungry and end up saying fuck it.

there is so much bullshit in my brain that is telling me to capitalize on the NOW and not the THEN and especially not the FUTURE but so much of it is exhasting that i’d rather just concentrate on what will happen 5 minutes from now. 5 minutes from now i will be done writing this post and i will be back to doing budgets. 5 minutes from now i may or may not be running ot the batrhoom due to the amount of tea and juice i am consuming. 5 minutes from now i will think about the danishes in the office kitchen and i will remind myself that they are not vegan. 5 minutes from now the song will change and since the ipod is on shuffle there is no telling what will come on. i am secretly wishing it will be more built to spill.

it will most likely be something embarassing from a musical soundtrack i own.

or maybe it will be xanadu. i can live with xanadu. if the gods are on my side today it will be xanadu. who doesn’t like a little olivia newton john on a sunny day?

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