not so

i woke up this morning and slipped my first loaf of sourdough this year into the oven.  groggy, itchy, irritable, sniffly. i unrolled the yoga mat into the middle of the bedroom and without much thought started. surya namaskar.  though the breath was stunted and difficult, i managed until the sweat started and the struggle melted into nothingness.  turning the brain off is much easier when it wasn’t really on in the first place.  it’s never on this early anyways, unless something is wrong.

time elapsed. i don’t know how long. the kitchen oven beeped. that meant 40 minutes.  i stopped, pulled the bread out of the oven and ran back to the mat.  savasana.  be careful. don’t fall back asleep.

blinky came by to say hello and demand breakfast.

i fed her, then myself, then slipped into the comfiest of grey dresses to match the grey day that seemed to be forming outside.

this is my life.

snot goblins and all.

this is my cat.

needy and wanting.

this is my day.

there will be bread and work and lunch and buses.

it’s not so bad.

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