everybody wants to feel better

i’ve heard from more people than i ever expected to these past two months saying that they are toying around with the idea of going vegan.  some of them have.  some are doing it in increments.  upon revealing to one of my co-workers today that i am indeed dairy & meat free the first question she asked was “what do you eat?” immediately followed by “how do you feel?”

everybody wants to feel better.

which could mean that on some level, everyone feels somewhat shitty.

the following questions after the initial two are usually exclamations of how they’d never be able to give up cheese or chicken nuggets.  i am not making this up.  people like their fucking nuggets.  it’s a strange phenomenon.

when i told tory today that i ate tofu, tempeh, lentils, veggies, grains and stuff it immediately sounded like i was a person who likes to eat dirt.  it certainly didn’t sound exciting but there was no way to tell her that my meals look like this:

or that they can also disguise themselves as all american junk food like this:

but you know when someone starts to get that glazed look in their eye like their brain has already moved on to thinking about chores they need to do you shut up and stop trying to convince them that you eat gold and shit diamonds.

i’ve been thinking today about the influx of people who have been asking me for recipes and places to eat because they’re trying this vegan thing out and how we’re all wanting to do something to improve how we feel.

it makes me happy that they’re trying something new.  it can only help.

the funny thing is i’ve been feeling the opposite of healthy lately.

i started working.  i’m in yoga once a week as opposed to four.  i sit in a task chair all day and i don’t pee until well after noon. i go to bed at midnight, sometimes later,  convinced that for every additional hour after 12 that i am awake i will drink one more cup of coffee to make the next morning bearable.  i’m craving bad things. i feel like i’ve gained 15 lbs in 3 weeks.

i can honestly blame some of this weight gain on switching types of bcps.  anytime i’ve switched types (2x) or stopped taking them i’ve ballooned to zepplin like proportions.  the rest is all me.  job and my inability to get up at 5AM for morning bikram and one too many soy lattes and i have no one to blame but myself for feeling so rotund.

all i can say is that i’m glad that the bcps haven’t caused any emotional havoc.  i am so grateful that i am not knee deep in the throes of pms self hatred. i’ll take the extra poundage over being completely wrecked.

i want to feel better too.  i need to get on that before i find out that i’m one of those people who whines when they don’t get something they didn’t work for.

i think i’m banned from bikram until this weird skin issue that has popped up resolves itself.  this leaves me with exploring the hundreds of yoga studios in the city that offers classes that either end in time for me to get to work on time which is proving to be more difficult than i thought. i’ve realized that by the time i leave the office at 6:44PM I am ready to claw my eyes out i’m so tired/hungry/lethargic so morning is the way to go.

hey.  how did it get to be 1:23AM?

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1 Response to “everybody wants to feel better”


  1. 1 Rory February 18, 2010 at 6:46 pm

    For some reason this really affected me

    “i need to get on that before i find out that i’m one of those people who whines when they don’t get something they didn’t work for.”

    It’s probably quote of the week.

    love you


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