‘I don’t think you want advice from me on this. I ate a Three Musketeers bar for breakfast this morning and this bra is held together with tape.’

God bless Liz Lemon.

I made it through my 2 yoga classes yesterday. Vinyasa was significantly easier then Bikram though. I felt dizzy and nauseous towards the end of the standing series in Bikram and I blamed my steady diet of Nyquil and Diet Coke for my complete undoing.

Lame. Last night I passed over the cough syrup, which is a sign of recovery, but took 2 Sleep II’s (Walgreen’s version of Sominex) and curled up into the fetal position. My cat climbed on top of me and passed out on my hip and I had weird nightmares that I was trapped inside a watermelon and I could hear the outside world and people around me, but I couldn’t get out.

Legal or not, I need to get off the drugs man. At least with ‘shrooms, you sorta know that life gets back to normal at a certain point. Non-prescription sleep aids don’t give you that guarantee and just make you feel crazy.

The boy is back from home today at some point and I’ve managed to beat myself into complacency about what happens now after his return. It’s all too much for my brain to handle once I start thinking about whatever is supposed to happen now, so I’ve just shut it down. There are so many other things I should worry about, like this economy, world hunger, Lindsay Lohan’s career, political unrest and you know, things I also have no control over, but are more important then whether the last petal of the daisy is “He loves me not.”

Every self help book on the market will tell you to put your efforts and concentration on things that you can control and things that will make you feel empowered. I have some modicum of control at my job but it does not make me feel empowered. I go to yoga, but recovery from being sick for the month of January has taken its toll and I cannot get back to the strength and power I was at before Christmas so I tend to leave exhausted and weak. I keep trying though, but I don’t necessarily feel like I have control and nothing is really making me feel “empowered” per se.

At the end of class last night, Elizabeth did the good yoga teacher thing and asked us to set an intention and hold it for the next 24 hours, whatever that intention may be. Mine was to be good to myself. I don’t seem to remember how to be good to myself these days. All I seem to be doing is blaming myself for the demise of all my relationships and the state of my battered immune system.

I should stay put inside my watermelon until I can start treating myself nicely.

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2 Responses to “‘I don’t think you want advice from me on this. I ate a Three Musketeers bar for breakfast this morning and this bra is held together with tape.’”


  1. 1 Alicia January 28, 2009 at 5:18 pm

    I was never able to follow the self help book advice; I just wallowed in misery until I found something else to obsess about. Healthy, no?You should be good to yourself; so many of us forget to do that. It’s just easier to put the blame on our shoulders and kick ourselves in the ass.

  2. 2 Rory January 29, 2009 at 4:05 am

    Keep writingThat hurts no one and lets us know how to help….And yes-Lindsay’s lesbian status is very important


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